Do we really need to "find" balance?

Is it really all about BALANCE in our Lives? Perhaps it’s about SUCCESS ! Let's just admit it.

We learned very early in our lives that we must eat in order to stay alive and we must pay for the food somehow. Enter job #1. Then we learned that if we could just earn more money from our job we could buy other things too. The “employers” perked up when we expressed an interest in being able to buy other things too and they suggest that if we want more money for those things we work more, work better and/or be more “productive”. So, we do. Until we realize we are more productive (which usually means working a lot) but we still can’t buy all the neat stuff we want. Enter job #2 (or 3 or 4…). We move to the next employer because the “benefits” and the pay are better. Here “they” have a retirement plan we can invest some of our higher wages in and better insurance that we can invest the rest of our higher pay on. Enter job #3 (or 4 or 5 or….). We change jobs because “they” convince us that employee programs, not more money, is what we’ve been seeking. They offer flexible schedules, wellness programs, community involvement and education programs to help us balance our lives. Enter personal improvement course #1 “Balancing Work and Life”.

Thousands of years ago a very smart Egyptian said "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." (go ahead and google that – very interesting)

”The true way to render ourselves happy is to love our work and find in it our pleasure” (Francoise deMotteville).

“I know the price of success: dedication, hard work, and an unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen” (Frank Lloyd Wright).

According to Richard Branson, "there's no work and no play, it's all life".

It’s no wonder we’re so confused about Life Balance.

The very quotable Mark Twain said, "Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.” “What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it. Who was it who said, "Blessed is the man who has found his work"? Whoever it was he had the right idea in his mind. Mark you, he says his work--not somebody else's work. The work that is really a man's own work is play and not work at all. Cursed is the man who has found some other man's work and cannot lose it. When we talk about the great workers of the world we really mean the great players of the world. The fellows who groan and sweat under the weary load of toil that they bear never can hope to do anything great. How can they when their souls are in a ferment of revolt against the employment of their hands and brains?”

Here’s the important part as I see it - his work--not somebody else's work. The problem is not that we don’t know how to achieve balance in our lives, it’s that we don’t know what is OURS TO DO with our LIVES. We don’t know what is ours TO DO with our work or our play. We don’t know what is ours to do because we have denied our gifts and talents.

The confusion about our gifts and talents started when we found out that some people were great football players and we weren’t, some people have beautiful opera voices and we don’t, that there are people “out there” who can process logarithms in their head. We learn that these people are “gifted” and “talented”. Therefore, we conclude that we must not be either gifted or talented. We’re amongst all the “regular” guys. The other guys will be Rich, Famous and Successful. We, on the other hand, will work hard and try to find balance in our lives.
So, let’s just take a look at the difference between the people trying to find balance in their lives and the people we think will easily be Rich, Famous and Successful. You know by now that I’m moving towards telling you that we all have gifts and talents and you’re right. We all have gifts and talents !!!!! We think there’s a difference between their gifts and talents and ours though. You’re right again. There is a difference. But, it’s not what you might think. The difference is not that their gifts are better than ours. It’s just that their talents are the ones this society has made easy to spot. Have a strong & accurate quarterback’s throwing arm – since every kid tosses the pigskin around to his buds it’s easy to tell that early on. Have a voice that can sing 2 octaves above middle C in perfect pitch – just start to sing along with the radio and lots of people will recognize that talent.

Now, let’s look at those talented people who should have a life on easy street but are looking for balance in life just like us “regular” guys. Stories abound about geniuses living homeless on the street. For the wealthy, expensive spa resorts and “shrinks” are everywhere for wealthy athletes and performers – rich, famous, exchanging their souls for money, searching for happiness and their own SUCCESS. For the “regular guys” personal improvement books abound for people trying to achieve balance, who are exchanging their souls for money, searching for happiness and their own SUCCESS. That sounds like it’s just as easy to be searching for “balance” whether you were bound for riches or just a regular guy doesn’t it? The fact is that the bottom line is not balance we’re looking for, it’s happiness and a feeling of accomplishment. Happiness and a feeling of accomplishment – isn’t that what SUCCESS is all about?

Happiness and success is – finding the purpose for your life, what is yours to do, and LIVING IT FULLY and abundantly (in what some may call your work as well as what is called play).
Can you impact homelessness if your work is tax accounting just as well as a football player can? Sure ! Can you bring safe water to 3rd world countries whether your work is nursing or conducting a symphony? Absolutely ! Is your gift/talent charisma or negotiating skills and your work bricklaying? Can you imagine the difference a charismatic person who has learned to lay bricks could make in revitalizing needy areas in your community? What if your talent is that kids open up to you? What if you feel you just want to spend 2 hours a week at the fishing dock because a teen might show up there who just needs someone to talk to like you once did? Is that a purpose that puts a whole new perspective on having the type of job that puts food on the table , is near the fishing docks, AND allows you to have a couple hours around 3pm? Now that you’ve recognized your purpose and are inspired by it, could you find other ways to allow that to happen in your life more often? Even other ways to allow it to happen AT WORK? WOW ! Work, Play, Happiness, Success. If you find what is yours to do, your talents and gifts, I predict you will no longer care about balance. You’ll look forward to what some people call work just as much as what they call play.

You’ll be happy and successful in LIFE.

I wrote this while looking out my window on July 3rd, 2007. A beautiful, balmy 84 degrees in L.A. (lovely Ames).

Making A Difference

I presented to B and B owners at the Iowa Bed & Breakfast Guild this past week and asked them to explore with me what they do and why that's important.
As often happens they started with the obvious ones: we provide overnight accomodations for travelers.
Then graduated slightly to: we provide safe and pleasant rest and relaxation in a special atmosphere.
Next came: we provide a sort of therapy - we feed the soul. Why? Because people want to feel special.
Why is all that important? It's important for people to be able to destress, have a caring experience, with a sense of family. Why? Because people need to relax in order to connect with their positive self.
And why is THAT important? Because we stir up a change in perspective and allow people to go 'back' to their regular world in a better, more 'in tune' way which allows them to affect other people's lives positively.

Whatever it is you think you do (i.e. provide a place to stay overnight), I think this story helps us recognize that all of us, no matter what we do, really can affect other people (known as our customers) in some pretty profound ways - provided we choose to.
Is it that simple? I think so - simply CHOOSE to make a POSITIVE DIFFERENCE through your every interaction every day.

BRRRRRRRR !!!!!!!!

Holy Smokes - I don't know what happened to global warming, cuz' it's cold outside.
Not only is it cold, it's very snowy. Not only is it snowy, there's 2 inches of ice under the 12 inches of snow.
I had the pleasure of being able to sit and talk with my friend from church, Doug, over a little lunch today. We've both struggled, as so many of us have, with the desire to be "in touch" with God, to have a personal relationship with God. How do I know that God is "there"? I'm not absolutely sure God has actually "spoken" to me or "walked" with me. My mom's favorite song is In The Garden. She sings "He walks with me and He talks with me, and He tells me I am his own, and the joy we share..." with such feeling that I know she has had a very personal experience. How does she know that so certainly yet, I'm not so sure?
It's probably not a coincidence that Doug & I explored this question on a blustery day like today. Maybe I've buried the door to my heart under 12 inches of snow and 2 inches of ice. If God is to talk, walk & share joys with me I better get out the snow blower and the ice-melt.

Continue to Gnaw at the Empty Feeder?

February 14, 2007
I have the cutest little squirrel sitting on my bird feeder which hangs in the middle of my Southern windows. He's having a feast since I just filled it yesterday. This is a little guy who just does not give up. For several days now, he's been trying to figure out how to get to that feeder. He's tried jumping from every tree on the South side. A few times he hit the feeder and got it really swinging but fell off. Then he figured out how to jump over to a little ledge on the side of the building and tried jumping from there onto the feeder. Still it gets the feeder swinging so much that it throws him off. I almost went out there in this bitter cold blowing snow to make sure he didn’t break his neck from the number of times he tried to jump onto the bird feeder and didn’t make it.
Then, around noon, he figured out that he can jump over to the little ledge, jump up onto the arm holding the feeder away from the wall, climb up the arm and slide down the side of the feeder to sit on the post where the birds usually sit. He is sitting there looking at me very innocently just having a jolly good time and quite a feast. That is quite a cute picture!
The squirrel has returned to the feeder a number of times this afternoon now and has finished the seeds off entirely. It appears that after all that I may have to run him off because now that he’s eaten all the seeds he’s starting to chew on the feeder.
This is the 14th time this afternoon that I must open the window on this cold blowing snowy day to shoo the little guy away because he just continues to gnaw at the feeder now. I'm afraid that when I return tomorrow the feeder will be in little pieces on the ground and no birds (or squirrels) will be able to have any seeds.
– It's interesting how the story of a day in the life of a squirrel can so closely resemble the story of our life. How to make sure you're nurturing, nourishing, supporting, not enabling bad behavior as a giver and kindly receiving, appreciative, not wearing out our welcome when we're receiving. How, as givers, do we know or decide when to stop giving? And how can we stop giving gracefully? How can we recognize those that will start to eat the plastic when the birdfood runs out? And can we stop them before they eat the plastic or before they totally bust up our birdfeeder?