Do we really need to "find" balance?

Is it really all about BALANCE in our Lives? Perhaps it’s about SUCCESS ! Let's just admit it.

We learned very early in our lives that we must eat in order to stay alive and we must pay for the food somehow. Enter job #1. Then we learned that if we could just earn more money from our job we could buy other things too. The “employers” perked up when we expressed an interest in being able to buy other things too and they suggest that if we want more money for those things we work more, work better and/or be more “productive”. So, we do. Until we realize we are more productive (which usually means working a lot) but we still can’t buy all the neat stuff we want. Enter job #2 (or 3 or 4…). We move to the next employer because the “benefits” and the pay are better. Here “they” have a retirement plan we can invest some of our higher wages in and better insurance that we can invest the rest of our higher pay on. Enter job #3 (or 4 or 5 or….). We change jobs because “they” convince us that employee programs, not more money, is what we’ve been seeking. They offer flexible schedules, wellness programs, community involvement and education programs to help us balance our lives. Enter personal improvement course #1 “Balancing Work and Life”.

Thousands of years ago a very smart Egyptian said "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." (go ahead and google that – very interesting)

”The true way to render ourselves happy is to love our work and find in it our pleasure” (Francoise deMotteville).

“I know the price of success: dedication, hard work, and an unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen” (Frank Lloyd Wright).

According to Richard Branson, "there's no work and no play, it's all life".

It’s no wonder we’re so confused about Life Balance.

The very quotable Mark Twain said, "Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.” “What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it. Who was it who said, "Blessed is the man who has found his work"? Whoever it was he had the right idea in his mind. Mark you, he says his work--not somebody else's work. The work that is really a man's own work is play and not work at all. Cursed is the man who has found some other man's work and cannot lose it. When we talk about the great workers of the world we really mean the great players of the world. The fellows who groan and sweat under the weary load of toil that they bear never can hope to do anything great. How can they when their souls are in a ferment of revolt against the employment of their hands and brains?”

Here’s the important part as I see it - his work--not somebody else's work. The problem is not that we don’t know how to achieve balance in our lives, it’s that we don’t know what is OURS TO DO with our LIVES. We don’t know what is ours TO DO with our work or our play. We don’t know what is ours to do because we have denied our gifts and talents.

The confusion about our gifts and talents started when we found out that some people were great football players and we weren’t, some people have beautiful opera voices and we don’t, that there are people “out there” who can process logarithms in their head. We learn that these people are “gifted” and “talented”. Therefore, we conclude that we must not be either gifted or talented. We’re amongst all the “regular” guys. The other guys will be Rich, Famous and Successful. We, on the other hand, will work hard and try to find balance in our lives.
So, let’s just take a look at the difference between the people trying to find balance in their lives and the people we think will easily be Rich, Famous and Successful. You know by now that I’m moving towards telling you that we all have gifts and talents and you’re right. We all have gifts and talents !!!!! We think there’s a difference between their gifts and talents and ours though. You’re right again. There is a difference. But, it’s not what you might think. The difference is not that their gifts are better than ours. It’s just that their talents are the ones this society has made easy to spot. Have a strong & accurate quarterback’s throwing arm – since every kid tosses the pigskin around to his buds it’s easy to tell that early on. Have a voice that can sing 2 octaves above middle C in perfect pitch – just start to sing along with the radio and lots of people will recognize that talent.

Now, let’s look at those talented people who should have a life on easy street but are looking for balance in life just like us “regular” guys. Stories abound about geniuses living homeless on the street. For the wealthy, expensive spa resorts and “shrinks” are everywhere for wealthy athletes and performers – rich, famous, exchanging their souls for money, searching for happiness and their own SUCCESS. For the “regular guys” personal improvement books abound for people trying to achieve balance, who are exchanging their souls for money, searching for happiness and their own SUCCESS. That sounds like it’s just as easy to be searching for “balance” whether you were bound for riches or just a regular guy doesn’t it? The fact is that the bottom line is not balance we’re looking for, it’s happiness and a feeling of accomplishment. Happiness and a feeling of accomplishment – isn’t that what SUCCESS is all about?

Happiness and success is – finding the purpose for your life, what is yours to do, and LIVING IT FULLY and abundantly (in what some may call your work as well as what is called play).
Can you impact homelessness if your work is tax accounting just as well as a football player can? Sure ! Can you bring safe water to 3rd world countries whether your work is nursing or conducting a symphony? Absolutely ! Is your gift/talent charisma or negotiating skills and your work bricklaying? Can you imagine the difference a charismatic person who has learned to lay bricks could make in revitalizing needy areas in your community? What if your talent is that kids open up to you? What if you feel you just want to spend 2 hours a week at the fishing dock because a teen might show up there who just needs someone to talk to like you once did? Is that a purpose that puts a whole new perspective on having the type of job that puts food on the table , is near the fishing docks, AND allows you to have a couple hours around 3pm? Now that you’ve recognized your purpose and are inspired by it, could you find other ways to allow that to happen in your life more often? Even other ways to allow it to happen AT WORK? WOW ! Work, Play, Happiness, Success. If you find what is yours to do, your talents and gifts, I predict you will no longer care about balance. You’ll look forward to what some people call work just as much as what they call play.

You’ll be happy and successful in LIFE.

I wrote this while looking out my window on July 3rd, 2007. A beautiful, balmy 84 degrees in L.A. (lovely Ames).